Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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