No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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