I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
