TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
