just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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