ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
