Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
