i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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