Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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