i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Say something about gay babies.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
