do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
