I am puke
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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