i would punch a child for taco bell
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
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