This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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