can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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