she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
is that a dick in a sweater?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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