went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
