but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
