doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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