mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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