Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
