windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
You left your phone here
Wait...
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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