Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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