we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
