If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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