I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
