So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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