I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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