hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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