My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
