Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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