I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
