Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I cut my penus on the lid.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
And then my night got REAL pukey
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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