come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
