it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
