I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
