You're my little dorito
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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