I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
are you so shy because you have an std?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
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THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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