I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
