I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
