I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Randomize
