Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
