I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
