My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize