I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
