I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
