Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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