K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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