so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I enjoy the company of your penis
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
