it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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