I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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