I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
