like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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