A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
