I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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