I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
