She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
