I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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