Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
