I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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