Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize