in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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