First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
