uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Randomize
